When the Purple Settles
by chibi-angel3
Summary: Why is it that the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who caused your tears? Read on and find out how Kenshin and Kaoru rectify their relationship after an unexpected turn of events. *REVIEW!* ^_^ **COMPLETED!**
1. Chapter One: Bruised Heart

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**

Author's Notes:

I usually do my author's notes on the bottom but I had to warn you… this is really angsty but don't worry… I will **never** make anything with a sad ending!! This will definitely be a happy ending for K/K or else you'd have to pick me up at a shrink's office after I suffer from depression from my own fic. LOL! Read on and leave me a review.

When the Purple Settles… Chapter One 

It was May 14, a year after Kenshin had left her to go to Kyoto. A day she never thought she'd ever look back to with a smile. But Kenshin changed all that. 

That morning, Kaoru couldn't help but feel glum. She kept a forlorn expression the whole day, insanely paranoid that Kenshin would leave her as he did a year ago. She knew Kenshin had no reason to leave but her heart couldn't stop worrying. She knew Kenshin would notice her sadness, which is why she kept herself busy doing trivial things such as repeatedly cleaning the same spot on the dojo floor for almost half an hour. However, no matter how much she tried to hide it, her feelings would not pass by unnoticed by Kenshin.

Kenshin knew what was bothering her and it had hurt him so much to see his beloved like that. After the Kyoto incident, they had never really openly talked about it. It was one of those issues both of them felt no need to reopen. Either that or they were both scared to admit their feelings. 

Despite the fact that it was long over, Kenshin knew that they had to resolve it. 

Later that afternoon, Kenshin mustered up all his courage and approached Kaoru. "Kaoru, will you accompany me to the river after dinner?"

Kaoru looked up and reluctantly agreed, fearing a repeat of history. A deep frown marred her pretty features as she recalled the time Kenshin said goodbye to her. Not trying to hold him back from what he wanted, she replied, her voice cracking, "Sure, Kenshin."

Dinner passed by quickly, although to the couple, it seemed like eternity. Kenshin and Kaoru were the only ones present in the dojo since Yahiko had to stay up late at the Akabeko. A thick blanket of tension plus a deafening silence surrounded them. Kaoru was caught up in painful anticipation while Kenshin was deliberating on what he wanted to say.

After clearing the table, Kenshin held out his hand to Kaoru. "Come on?"

Kaoru nodded, giving him a bittersweet smile as she laced her fingers in his. She sighed in contentment, unconsciously squeezing his hand, wanting to soothe her aching heart with his simple touch. Deep inside, she wondered how Kenshin could stir up so much deep feelings inside her. Oxymoronic feelings such as sorrowful bliss, if there was such a thing.

Subtly, Kenshin glanced at Kaoru. When he saw her unhappy and unsmiling face, he wanted to… he wanted to kick himself for always making the person he loves miserable. At that, his resolve hardened. Even if he wasn't ready for their talk, even if he didn't have the slightest clue on what to say, he knew one thing.

In times when even the most profound words aren't enough, simple gestures of love suffice.

And that was what he planned to do. To show her his love.

When they had reached their destination, Kaoru sat on the log she used to sit. She felt as if she were reliving that same memory, only this time, Kenshin didn't have to save Japan. If he were to leave her then and there, he didn't have a duty. 

It was his choice.

Kenshin sat beside her and stared blankly at the river in front of them. Breaking the silence, he cleared his throat and said, "There is no fireflies tonight, ne?"

"No, fireflies," she repeated. Wanting to cut the chase, Kaoru looked deep into his eyes and asked, "Why did you bring me here? What do you want to tell me?"

He knew it was a stupid question but he asked anyway, "Do you remember what happened here exactly a year ago?"

"It's not something I would ever forget. I mean, it was a turning point of my life," she replied sadly.

"It was mine, too…"

Just then, Kaoru cut him off, "Why are you telling me all this? Are you planning to leave me again?"

Kenshin placed a finger on her mouth and whispered, "Let me finish first."

Kaoru nodded apologetically.

"It was then that I realized that I didn't want to be a rurouni anymore. That I was just pulled out of duty."

"So, what are you trying to say?"

"That I really didn't want to leave you then."

"Oh…" Kaoru looked up at him, locking her sparkling eyes with his amethyst ones. "What about now?"

"I'll never leave you, Kaoru. I'll stay as long as you want me to," he smiled, cupping her cheeks. Very slowly, he neared his lips towards hers, waiting for any sign of approval. When Kaoru had closed her eyes, Kenshin parted his lips, taking hers in his own. 

Kaoru wrapped her arms around him, following his lead as she opened her virgin mouth, allowing him to teach her the art of kissing. Soon, Kaoru offered him her tongue as she caressed his in a dancing rhythm. Just then, the passion and intensity of their kiss increased as their simple and tender strokes became fierce ravishes.

Finding the need to breathe Kaoru pulled back, gazing at her beloved rurouni's eyes. Tracing his cross scar with her delicate fingers, she whispered, "I love you."

Kenshin smiled at her, sweeping her off her feet, carrying her. He whispered huskily, "Let's go back to the dojo."

Kaoru shrieked at his playfulness as she wrapped her arms around him for support.

Using his god-like speed, Kenshin ran back to the dojo. He closed the gate with his free hand as he effortlessly carried his bundle inside. With his foot, Kenshin slid the shoji door of his room close, laying a deeply flushed Kaoru on his futon. He laid down on top of Kaoru, resting his knee between her thigh as he caressed her cheeks with both his hands.

Kaoru gazed at his handsome features, lifting her hand inside his gi to caress his chest. Once again, she whispered, "I love you, Kenshin." She locked her eyes in his, waiting for a reply but it never came so she repeated it once more, "Kenshin Himura, I love you with all my heart, all my mind and all my soul."

Kenshin nodded, "I know." At that, he lowered his face for another heated kiss, trailing his fingers downwards to untie her obi.

Kaoru's heartbeat raced as his other hand claimed her breast but she made no protest. She loved Kenshin and that was all that mattered. 

That time, she was determined to show him as she kissed him back with equal ardor and passion he offered.

~~~~~

Kaoru woke up in the middle of her blissful sleep upon hearing her beloved's soft whispers. She nuzzled her smooth cheek against his bare chest as she lifted her arm, wrapping them around his waist. She rested her head on her free hand, wanting to gaze at her lover's sleeping form. Kaoru smiled sincerely, brushing a stray hair from his eyes as she recalled the details of their lovemaking earlier that night.

"I love you, Kenshin." Her heart ached for him. Even if he was just beside her, her heart would ache every time she utter those four simple words. Four simple words that meant a lot but wasn't enough to show how deep her love was.

She raised up her body, resting her hand on his cheek as she slowly lowered her face to kiss him. 

"Tomoe…"

Kaoru froze.

"Tomoe…" Kenshin continued to moan in his sleep.

Kaoru's eyes widened as she felt her mind spinning. Nothing seemed to register in her head. Her mouth went dry, her breathing became shallow, her heart thundered. When Kenshin had said it for the third time, that was when everything sank in.

Tomoe? He had just spent the night with her and he was dreaming of Tomoe?

Kaoru did not know what to do. Feeling her whole being in chaos, she grabbed a yukata and dragged herself out of the room in an almost drunken state. As soon as she arrived at the training hall, she fell on her knees. She stared blankly at wall and not a single tear fell.

Tomoe? She asked herself again. Just then, like a broken dam, everything flooded to her in a single and utterly painful moment. Tomoe, his wife. His only love. 

At that, Kaoru broke down.

All those time, she was worrying that Kenshin would leave her. That she would be alone again as she was before. She was so worried about Kenshin's presence that she never considered what was really inside him.

What was really inside his heart?

Grief?

Guilt?

Love?

For whom?

Could it be that he loved her? That he truly and sincerely love her? She never doubted his love. After everything they had been through. After all their good and bad times… their simple and sometimes complicated moments. 

After the way he made love to her that very night

She never **could** doubt it, until now that is.

Why was Tomoe still in his dreams? She knew and had accepted that Tomoe was an important part of his life but …was she that significant that even in their special night, she would still be the one in her beloved's mind?

Was she the one in Kenshin thoughts while they were making love? 

Was she the reason why Kenshin could not even say I love you to her?

Why did Kenshin bed her in the first place?

At that moment, Kaoru could not longer take it. She curled up in a ball as she wept. She continued to cry even if her eyes were already sore and throbbing. She continued to cry because that was the only way she could let out her feelings. She continued to cry because… she felt helpless and she didn't know what else to do.

At the back of her mind, she knew Kenshin loved her. She knew it but… was the feeling really there or was it just her hopeful heart? If he did felt something, she didn't want to belittle it. No, he deserves much more than that.

Kaoru choked back a sob as she thought miserably that maybe…

… he just didn't love her the way she thought and wanted him to. 

But she loved Kenshin and she was certain about that. And because of that, she didn't want to be selfish. With a new resolve, she wiped away her tears and composed herself. She kneeled down on the floor, raising her hands unconsciously to fix her hair. She nodded to herself in agreement.

She wasn't going to force him to love her as he did Tomoe. She would just be happy and contented that he was there with her and she was free to love him. Yes, she was free to love him and that was exactly what she was going to do. She was going to love him with everything she have, not expecting anything in return.

At that, she felt a part of her die…

…but that was what true love was about, right?

Taking a deep breath, Kaoru returned to Kenshin's room. She slowly slipped off her yukata as she nestled beside Kenshin. She rested her head on his chest, wrapping her arms tightly on his waist. She closed her eyes to prevent another tear to fall but her efforts were futile when a few drops streamed down Kenshin's bare chest. 

Kaoru stifled a sob, embraced him tighter and whispered, "I'll love you, Kenshin with everything I have, even if..." __

**Author's Notes:**

This is another character story I am writing. I really love Kaoru's character and I love expounding it.

Title: The title is actually a metaphor for two things, one is for this chap and the other I will explain in the next chap. Anyhoo, it is entitled "When the Purple Settles" because the purple signifies Kaoru's bruised heart. When you say the purple settles it means that the bruise is starting to heal. 

Plot: I always want to explore my horizons. I had already done humor, drama, dark, and suspense so now I am doing angst. I am sick with a flu now that is why I am in a dark mood. This is a short ficcie so this issue will be resolved in the next chapter. 

Style: Moreover, I am also experimenting on a writing style, I voiced out all their thoughts in third person point of view. I usually do thoughts either italicized first person only or both [italicized 1POV and 3POV]. So send me your feedbacks!

Leave me a review! I need to know your comments!

Press that button!

Review!


	2. Chapter Two: Amber Eyes

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**** The rights to Rurouni Kenshin are exclusively owned by Watsuki Nobuhiro, Sony Entertainment, Shueisha, Jump Comics and other associated groups. Do not sue!!! I am writing this to satiate my urge to write.**

**When the Purple Settles…**

**Chapter Two: Amber Eyes**

For the past few weeks after their night together, Kenshin had noted the sudden change in Kaoru's demeanor. She was more showy when it came to her affection but she had also became quiet, reserved and most importantly, she was noticeably sad. Kaoru hid her emotions well but her eyes revealed everything. It baffled Kenshin to no end but he didn't know what to do.

That incident on her most memorable night had deeply scarred and bruised Kaoru's heart but she kept true to her vow to love Kenshin. She served him well, loved him, heck, she didn't even hit him with a bokken anymore. She did her best to be a suitable and giving partner to him. In short, she gave her all for their relationship.

Yet, no matter how she had rationalized the condition to herself, she was unhappy and because of that, Kenshin, too, was unhappy. But, both of them pretended to be oblivious to the problem.

One night, Kenshin decided to take the matters in his own hands. He had to know what was bothering his beloved. He had to know why she was unhappy… what he did to make her feel that way. 

Little did Kaoru know that guilt was slowly and painfully eating up Kenshin on the inside. She didn't know that the misery she tried so hard to hide was feeding the unworthiness Kenshin felt.

After eating dinner, Kenshin slipped inside Kaoru's room. There he saw her, staring blankly out of the window. He touched her hair softly, making his presence known. He kneeled down to level with her eyes and asked, "Kaoru is there anything wrong? Are you alright?"

Kaoru turned to him, feigning innocence, "Of course I am fine. Why do you ask?"

"Because you don't look fine," he pointed out, tucking her stray hair tenderly.

"I'm just tired."

Kenshin looked down and bit his lip. In a low tone, he began, "So, are you saying that you had been tired every single waking moment since we slept together?"

Kaoru's mouth opened at his sarcasm. She was about to say something in response but she decided against it. She sighed audibly, facing the evening sky once again.

"Kaoru, admit it," he said calmly, turning her shoulders as he searched her eyes. "There is something wrong. There had been ever since we—"

"No. Kenshin, I am fine," she repeated stubbornly. Forcing a smile, she cupped his cheeks, "Why wouldn't I be? I love you and that is all that matters." It hurt her so much to say that but it was true. At that moment, the only thing that mattered to her was that she loved him, even if…

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong!?" his voice surprisingly raised in utter desperation.

"Because there is nothing to tell. Nothing…"

"Then, why are you so unhappy?"

"Huh?" she looked down, not wanting to meet his intense gaze.

He tilted up her chin, motioning her to look at him as he said, "I can see it in your eyes. Why do you hide yourself from me?"

She brushed his hand away, shaking her head violently, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Kaoru, it hurts me to see you like this," he said, near to tears, wrapping his arms around her, wanting to feel her closer. "Please," he whispered to her ear, "I _beg_ you. Just tell me what's the matter."

"Kenshin, just kiss me." Kaoru pulled back, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She was so confused. She didn't know what to think anymore. Everything to her seemed like a blur. All her memories with him… all her knowledge about his past… all that that they had been through… To her, everything seemed like an abstract piece of artwork. Beautiful but unintelligible. She didn't know what to do but she knew she needed him. She needed him to make everything alright. She needed his touch to reassure her. "Please… Please, just kiss me," she pleaded once again as she lowered her lips in his for a passionate kiss.

Kenshin responded ardently, pouring out all his love, frustration and grief in that moment of touch. He parted his lips, thrusting his tongue inside hers, wanting to taste her sweetness once again. Inside, he was glad she did this. He needed her to need him. He needed to show her that he was there… that he would do everything to alleviate the pain she was feeling… that he loved her.

Just then, a lone tear escaped from Kaoru's eyes. Kenshin immediately pulled back, only to see sadness imprinted on her once bright face. Slowly, he raised his hand, which trembled because of guilt and fear. Fear to touch the woman he loved most yet hurt deeply as well. Almost reluctantly, he wiped away her tears. "How could you say that you are alright when you are crying?"

"I said I am fine!" she snapped, not wanting to continue with his interrogation. Kaoru stood up, opened the door and motioned him to leave.

At that, Kenshin clenched his fists on his hakama. He took deep breaths to keep his cool, but he had enough. He came there to resolve things and to talk things over, not to be shoved away when obviously there was a problem. Gritting his teeth, he regarded her with cold amber eyes, "Dammit! Don't lie to me anymore! Tell me what's wrong!"

"You know what's wrong!?" she yelled, tears flowing freely from her eyes. She didn't even noticed that Kenshin had cursed. The pain was consuming her inside. She had to let it out, for her sake. She locked her eyes in his, preparing herself for the truth. "You… you don't really love me!" she trailed off, feeling a dagger stab her heart. 

"What?" his amber eyes softened as he walked towards her. Despite the hurt that he felt with what she had just said, his overwhelming love conquered it all. He placed his hands on her shoulders and he pressed his nose on hers, "How could you say that Kaoru?"

Kaoru had regained her composure by taking deep breaths. Softly, she explained, "That night, when we made love, you were dreaming of Tomoe." 

Kenshin's hands fell limp on his side. He had prepared himself to hear how deficient he was in loving, how he wasn't able to provide for her, how he wasn't able to make her happy. He anticipated all those things except for the truth behind Kaoru's pain. 

Tomoe.

"Tell me, Kenshin, why were you thinking of her when I was the one with you?"

"Is that the reason why you are mad at me?"

"No, Kenshin!" came her sudden reply. "I am not mad at you. I will never be mad at you for loving someone else but…" she faltered. Closing her eyes, she slumped her shoulders and confessed, "…it hurts. No matter how I try to fight it, it really hurts."

Kenshin raised his hands to her cheeks, pressing a soft chaste kiss on her lips.

Kaoru smiled as she continued, "Please don't get me wrong, Kenshin. I am not demanding anything from you. Not for you to love me as you did her, not anything. I just can help but hurt inside."

"Oh, Kaoru… do you think that I don't love you?" 

"No, you've done so much for me to doubt you but—"

"But what?"

Kaoru looked deep into his amber eyes as if peering into his soul. Smiling sadly, she said, "I don't think you'll ever love me completely."

Kenshin's face fell. Her words struck him like a double edge sword. Biting his lip, he asked, "Why is that?"

 "Because until now, _she_ is the one in your mind and heart," she uttered painfully.

Kenshin looked down, unable to meet her eyes. It wasn't because what she said was true, he just couldn't bare looking at her, knowing how much hurt he gave her.

"Kenshin," she tilted up his chin as she caressed his arm. She regarded him with loving and understanding eyes as she asked, "Why can't you tell me that you love me? I think I already know the answer but I want to hear it from you."

"I don't know why," he replied honestly. "I wanted to. Believe me, I really did but it just won't come out of my mouth."

"Maybe because it contradicted what your heart is feeling?" Her voice choked on a sob. Despite the pain she felt, she did not turn away from him, facing his reply with a courageous heart.

"No. Of course not. I did love Tomoe no doubt about that, she had been an important part of me but that is all in the past." Kenshin lifted his hands to cup her cheeks, caressing them tenderly with his thumb. He breathed in her scent, staring at her intently, "You are the one I have right now and I love you." 

"Do you really?"

"Yes," he nodded. Then, he took one of her hands, placing them in his chest. "Feel my heart. It is beating for you. Without you, I don't even think I would have had the will to live."

Kaoru felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted in her heart. It was just a misunderstanding caused by lack of communication. She smiled sincerely at him as she rested her head on his chest.

Sighing in relief, Kenshin wrapped his arms around her waist for a tight embrace, resting his cheek on her hair. He whispered to her ear, "It is just that… with you it is different. I feel that words are not needed. I just want to give you my everything, my mind, my body, my heart and my soul. I want to show you my love in silence. To let you feel it…" He kissed her hair gently and finished, "but I guess I failed, ne?"

"I'm sorry, Kenshin if I made you feel that way. I should have told you how I felt."

"No, I should be the one who should apologize. Forgive me for not telling you sooner." Kenshin pulled back, his eyes returning to their normal purple hue. "Kaoru?"

"Hmmm…"

"Do you know what my dream was about?"

Kaoru shook her head and asked, "What?"

"I was telling Tomoe that I have found my salvation in you."

**Author's Notes:**

Title: The other meaning of the title is Kenshin's eyes. When the purple settles, amber surfaces. In this fic, amber doesn't symbolize Kenshin's rage but the feelings he tries to suppress or hide. When Kenshin's eyes changed hues, it meant that he wasn't holding back anymore… that he was being true to himself and to Kaoru… that he made his feelings naked. I wanted to make the explanation short, if you want me to explain further, just tell me and leave your email add.

Moreover, I also wanted to show the tender side of Battousai.  With Kaoru, he could be as gentle and loving as the rurouni side of him.

School is back so I guess, I won't be updating as often as I used to but I will try to update the chaps to my other fics at least once a week. Keep the reviews coming to inspire me!! ^__^

Thank you for everyone who left an inspiring comment! I am glad you appreciated this fic.

**If anybody would like to donate or lend a fanart for my webby, I would really be grateful. I am in the process of making a fanarts page but work is really pulling me down. I'll just inform you when it is up.**

**Leave me a review!**


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